We all have those friends or loved ones who drive us crazy. Sometimes, it’s hard to admit if we have those flaws that make us difficult to deal with. It is helpful to look into our core and ask ourselves, “Am I one of those people?”
Now, we must ask more important questions. How can I have great and fulfilling relationships? What do I need to look out for? Do I attract people or push them away?
Here are a few personality flaws that hinder relationships, take a look…
You’re passive aggressive
If you want others to be drawn to you, it’s important to let others know how you feel without playing the all-too-common passive aggressive game.
Here are a few common passive aggressive phrases most people use.
“I’m not mad.” (Grinding their teeth)
“I’m fine.” (When they are clearly NOT fine!)
“Whatever.” (Usually with a tone)
“Nothing’s wrong.” (When there IS something wrong)
“I hope it was worth it.” (Yikes!)
This is a type of hostility that takes place when you’re angry but not feeling confident enough to say what you truly think. Recognizing it is a significant step in your self-discovery quest. Say what you are really feeling and don’t fear conflict to the point of feeling the need to play a game. It only serves to push people away and has the opposite effect then you’re looking for. Learn to phrase things more honestly, or better yet, keep those backhanded compliments to yourself. Making someone else feel guilty or bad about themselves to get what you want is not going to help you build healthy relationships.
You make excuses for those who treat you badly
When others treat you like crap, don’t make excuses for them.
”Oh, he must be overtired.”
“She only acts like that when she’s hungry.”
“It’s okay; I know you’ve had a bad day.”
Sometimes, people deserve a pass. But, if it’s a regular personality flaw, nip it now. How many punches can you withstand before you snap or suffer permanent brain damage? Abuse is abuse. Don’t see it as something else.
You act like everyone’s mother
No one likes a person who is constantly telling others how to live their life. A “Know-It-All” is the Buzz Killington at the party. People love to be nurtured, but they really don’t like someone who is bossy. At all! Or judgmental! When we judge people, what we’re really saying is… I have a “Me Problem”. We were all born with our own moral code, and just because we don’t always agree with someone else’s life choices doesn’t make it wrong. When the urge hits, bite your tongue. You don’t have to agree with someone to support them unless their choices hurt them or someone else.
You can’t leave bad events in the past
Bad things happen all the time! How you deal with painful moments makes all the difference. It’s okay to admit that it happened. It hurt. I suffered. I cried. I got mad. NOW, YOU MUST LET IT GO! If you can learn to release those painful events; you’ll become a full participant in the “PRESENT”, not a part-time time-traveler, stealing precious moments from the “NOW”. Moments you can never reclaim. If you keep bringing up something someone did in 1986 whenever you get angry, you may find yourself losing a friend. Instead, focus on healing and the love that is between you.
You’re jealous of others
Oh, that green-eyed monster! Life is not fair, but you are the one in control of your thoughts and your emotions. Don’t waste one single moment being envious of others. It’s a poison that will only steal your joy. Someone will always make more money than you, have youth on their side, and be in that perfectly “PERCEIVED” life.
Remember, there is only one “YOU”, and everything you’ve been through is what has made you who you are today. Life has led you to the places you’ve traveled and has settled you in the life you have now and is creating the pathway for your future. Hold your head high and tell yourself: “I am one of a kind. I will always and forever be my own best friend. I am who I choose to be. I am the one in control of my life. I have everything I need to be happy.”
Train yourself to be thankful for what you have. It is the master key to happiness. Besides, you really don’t want to walk in someone else’s shoes anyway. Afterward, you might just find out that they don’t fit you at all!